Happiness 101   External Factors for Happiness: 

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#1 Money

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Money plays a part in human existence much less important than we suppose. The best boon that money can bestow upon us is independence. How much money do we need to secure independence? That must depend on the nature of our wants. — W. J. Dawson, The Quest of the Simple Life

 

In our quest for happiness and the avoidance of suffering, we are all fundamentally the same, and therefore equal. Despite all the characteristics that differentiate us — race, language, religion, gender, wealth ... we are all equal in terms of our basic humanity. — Dalai Lama

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The struggle is great, the task divine—to gain mastery, freedom, happiness, and tranquility. — Epictetus

 

Happiness is a place between too little and too much. — Finnish Proverb

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Although the quest is universal, each of our paths are individual. There’s no single right answer for how to be happy. If something resonates with you—regardless of chapter or where I’ve placed it in the hierarchy—follow it. Only you can live your truth.  Kyle Kowaski

 

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. — Gandhi 

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Poverty is involuntary and debilitating, whereas simplicity is voluntary and enabling. Poverty is mean and degrading to the human spirit, whereas a life of conscious simplicity can have both a beauty and a functional integrity that elevates the human spirit… Once a person or family reaches a moderate level of income, here are the factors that research has shown contribute most to happiness: good health, personal growth, strong social relationships, service to others, connection with nature. —— Duane Elgin, Voluntary Simplicity 

 

Money only affects emotional well-being (happiness) up to an annual income of $60,000-$75,000 (in US). Once you get to an individual income of around $40,000, other factors such as health, relationships and a sense of purpose, seem far more important than income. — 80000Hours.org 

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People who live far below their means enjoy a freedom that people busy upgrading their lifestyles can’t fathom. — Naval Ravikant 

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The new roadmap says that there is something called ‘enough’ ... ‘enough’ is this vibrant, vital place ... an awareness about the flow of money and stuff in your life, in light of your true happiness and your sense of purpose and values, and that your ‘enough point’ (having enough) is having everything you want and need, to have a life you love and full self-expression, with nothing in excess. It’s not minimalism. It’s not less is more (because sometimes more is more), but it’s that sweet spot, it’s the Goldilocks point. Enough for me is one of the absolute fulcrums between the old roadmap for money and the new roadmap for money ... Once people start to pay attention to the flow of money and stuff in their lives in this way, their consumption drops by about 20-25% naturally because that’s the amount of unconsciousness that you have in your spending. So, when you become conscious, that falls away and many people say they don’t even know what they used to spend their money on. — Vicki Robin 

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The truth is that as the struggle for survival has subsided, the question has emerged: survival for what? Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for. — Viktor Frankl 

 

 

#2 Simplicity - Happiness comes from simplicity of living and keeping your relationships with material things in check

 

A quiet and modest life brings more joy than a pursuit of success bound with constant unrest. — Einstein

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Happiness is simple pleasures, is spending time doing what you love and spending time with those you love. — Leo Babauta 

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Increasingly, the mainstream media and society are recognizing how people’s search for happiness is taking them beyond consumerism to a more balanced and integrated approach to living. — Duane Elgin 

 

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#3 Relationships

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. — Siddhārtha Gautama 

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The clearest message that we get from this 75-year Harvard study of 700  people is this: good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period. Looking back on their lives, people most often report their time with others as being the most meaningful part of life and what they’re proudest of. 

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We cannot have deep and enduring satisfaction, happiness, or joy unless we have self-respect. There is good reason to believe that self-respect is the basis for all higher morality. We cannot have self-respect unless our lives are an earnest attempt to express the finest and most enduring values which we are able to appreciate. That is to say, unless we come into close and right relationships with our fellow-men, with nature, and with Truth (or God), we cannot achieve full self-respect. — Richard Gregg, The Value of Voluntary Simplicity 

 

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#4 Culture - Happiness—and a broader sense of well-being—can be learned from other cultures and environments 

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The World Happiness Report is in its 8th year. It aims to survey the state of global happiness and ranks 156 countries by how happy their citizens perceive themselves to be. The researchers look at a variety of well-being measures and track how happiness has evolved over time. Some things are surprisingly consistent. Here are the countries that have ranked in the top 10 for the three most recent study years (2017, 2018, and 2019): 

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• Finland 

• Denmark 

• Switzerland 

• Iceland 

• Norway 

• Netherlands 

• Sweden 

• New Zealand
   

The US ranked 18th to 19th in the same studies between 2017 and 2019. Why?

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• Perhaps Danish happiness is not really happiness at all, but something much more valuable and durable: contentedness, being satisfied with your lot, low-level needs being met, higher expectations being kept in check.5 

• the Ikarians may be the sanest (or most well) people on the planet. And, they are almost entirely free of dementia and other chronic diseases affecting Americans. When you view the Blue Zones holistically, you typically find cultural lifestyle factors including: 

  • Connection: Meaningful relationships (“us” vs. “me”) 

  • Modified Mediterranean Diet: Mostly plant-based diets, drink wine and tea
    with family and friends 

  • Clear Purpose: Based on satisfying low-level needs 

  • Time Abundance: No care about time or watching the clock 

  • Natural Movement: Walkable communities, gardening, enjoy physical work and find joy in everyday chores, enjoy being outside, etc 

  • Down Shift: Little to no stress or anxiety (that leads to inflammation which leads
    to diseases) 

  • Spirituality: Practicing any faith can add years to your life 

  • Sleep: Wake naturally, naps in the afternoon (nap research backs their
    benefits) 

  • Environment: Live near water or nature

  • ADD- Pursuits of Curiosities - Creative exploration, research, projects & artistic expressions

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A man is not rightly conditioned until he is a happy, healthy, and prosperous being; and happiness, health, and prosperity are the result of a harmonious adjustment of the inner with the outer... — James Allen, As a Man Thinketh 

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Happiness 201 goes deeper into how to be happy psychologically—happiness in the mind. 

 

The essence of philosophy ... happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things. — Epictetus 

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People believe themselves to be dependent on what happens for their happiness, that is to say dependent on form. They don’t realize that what happens is the most unstable thing in the universe. It changes constantly. — Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth 

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So if you want to live, you must have no permanent abode. You must have no place to rest your head. You have to flow with it. As the great Confucius said, ‘The one who would be constant in happiness must frequently change.’ Flow. — Anthony de Mello, Awareness 

 

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#5 Expectations -  Happiness is about keeping expectations in check 

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If you do the job in a principled way, with diligence, energy and patience, if you keep yourself free of distractions, and keep the spirit inside you undamaged, as if you might have to give it back at any moment—If you can embrace this without fear or expectation—can find fulfillment in what you’re doing now, as Nature intended, and in superhuman truthfulness (every word, every utterance)— then your life will be happy. No one can prevent that. — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 

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The best expectations example I’ve come across is from Mo Gawdat, an ex-Google executive who quit at age 51 to create an equation for happiness: The way we think about the events of our life and compare them to realistic expectations is what makes us happy or unhappy. 

Happiness is very much like staying fit. You start with the decision that you are going to get fit, you find out how – but knowing that is not enough, you have to go to the gym to work out and eat healthily. To me the whole topic of happiness is exactly the same. First you understand that happiness is a choice, that you can actually achieve it and that there is a method to make it happen. Happiness is not a coincidence, it is not given to you by life, it’s entirely our responsibility.  

 

#6 Practice - Happiness is a skill that can be learned and requires training and practicing. Almost everything in life requires some amount of practice and training—especially if you want to get better at it. 

 

I’d always believed that a life of quality, enjoyment, and wisdom were my human birthright ... I never suspected that I would have to learn how to live ... ways of seeing the world I had to master before I could awaken to a simple, happy, uncomplicated life. — Dan Millman 

 

Practice begins with an intentional choice.

 

#7 Choice - Happiness is a mindful choice.

 

If you want to be happy, be. — Leo Tolstoy 

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For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. — Ralph Waldo Emerson 

 

Behold the master key to our happiness in our own hands. Moment by moment, we can be grateful for this gift. — David Steindl-Rast 

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Happiness is also a choice. If you’re so smart, how come you aren’t happy? How come you haven’t figured that out? That’s my challenge to all the people who think they’re so smart and so capable. — Naval Ravikant 

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I am the happiest man alive. I have that in me that can convert poverty to riches, adversity to prosperity, and I am more invulnerable than Achilles; fortune hath not one place to hit me. — Sir Thomas Browne 

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Happiness is a choice. You are as happy as you choose to be. If you don’t know how to be happy with what you have, you will never be happy with more. — Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life 

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The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts. — Marcus Aurelius 

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Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. — Marcus Aurelius 

 

Other people’s wills are as independent of mine as their breath and bodies. We may exist for the sake of one another, but our will rules its own domain. Otherwise the harm they do would cause harm to me. Which is not what God intended— for my happiness to rest with someone else. — Marcus Aurelius

 

People tend to burden themselves with so many choices. But, in the end, you can throw it all away and just make one basic, underlying decision: Do you want to be happy, or do you not want to be happy? It’s really that simple. Once you make that choice, your path through life becomes totally clear. — Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul

 

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is. There is the situation or the fact, and here are my thoughts about it. Instead of making up stories, stay with the facts. — Eckhart Tolle 

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Individuals who understand what brings them joy and happiness tend to have what we like to call the Right Outlook. They are engulfed in activities and communities that allow them to immerse themselves in a rewarding and gratifying environment. 

 

#7 Purpose - Happiness is a byproduct of finding meaning and purpose 

 

I’ve learned that there is nothing more consistent with unhappiness than spending your time in a way that doesn’t serve who you are ... there is no more profound source of fulfillment and happiness than knowing you are traveling your own path... — Scott DinsmoreAside 

 

According to some psychologists, happiness can be assessed with two simple questions. First, do you find meaning in your work? Second, do you have good relationships with those around you? — Haemin Sunim 

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‘Years of research on the psychology of well-being have demonstrated that often human beings are happiest when they are engaged in meaningful pursuits and virtuous activities.’ Indeed, when we are deeply engaged in an activity that is in accordance with our best self, we often report the highest levels of life satisfaction. — Scientific American6 

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Very few follow the path laid out for them—the path to their Personal Legends, and to happiness. — Paulo Coelho 

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The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon. (A shepherd may like to travel, but he should never forget about his sheep.) — Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist (Secret of Happiness story) 

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Happiness is simply the byproduct of meaning and purpose: 

 

Here’s the truth. We exist on this earth for some undetermined period of time. During that time we do things. Some of these things are important. Some ... are unimportant. And those important things give our lives meaning and happiness. — Mark Manson 

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Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to ‘be happy.’ Once the reason is found, however, one becomes happy automatically. As we see, a human being is not one in pursuit of happiness but rather in search of a reason to become happy, last but not least, through actualizing the potential meaning inherent and dormant in a given situation. — Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning 

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Pleasure is, and must remain, a side-effect or by-product, and is destroyed and spoiled to the degree to which it is made a goal in itself. — Viktor Frankl 

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Once an individual’s search for a meaning is successful, it not only renders him happy but also gives him the capability to cope with suffering. — Viktor Frankl 

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That’s the power of meaning. Happiness comes and goes. But when life is really good and when things are really bad, having meaning gives you something to hold on to. — Emily Esfahani Smith 

 

The difference between happiness and fulfillment is the difference between liking something and loving something ... Happiness comes from what we do. Fulfillment comes from why we do it. — Simon Sinek 

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This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. — George Bernard Shaw 

 

So, instead of making happiness the goal, focus on meaning and purpose:

 

The happiest people I know found something they loved and went for it. — Dan Harris 

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Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose. — Helen Keller

 

When we link our purpose with greater happiness, then we’re in a state of unlimited happiness and permanent happiness. — Emma Slade 

 

Our deepest happiness in life stems from fulfilling purpose. Doing the best we can, where we are, with what we’ve been given is the best way to live a life of meaning and significance. — Joshua Becker

 

Think of it like a system or process: 

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When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running. — James Clear, Atomic Habits 

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Stop hoping for happiness tomorrow. Happiness is being engaged in the process. — Helen Morales 

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Yet again, the Blue Zones nail it. The concept of ikigai comes from Japan. After all my investigation and reflection on life purpose, I believe this evolution of ikigai is most effective for finding and creating purpose. 

 

The happiest people are not the ones who achieve the most. They are the ones who spend more time than others in a state of flow. — Héctor García and Francesc Miralles, Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Healthy Life 

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Artists, for example, who carry the torch of their ikigai instead of retiring, have this power. Art, in all its forms, is an ikigai that can bring happiness and purpose to our days. Enjoying or creating beauty is free, and something all human beings have access to. — Héctor García and Francesc Miralles 

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Don’t forget the #1 most common regret of the dying: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. Could we but fulfil our best selves we should ask no other happiness. — W. J. Dawson 

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But what is happiness except for the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? — Albert Camus 

 

As an afterthought, it seems hardly proper to write of life without once mentioning happiness; so we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed? — Hunter S. Thompson

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Purpose is intertwined with relationships—it goes beyond yourself to serve others and the world: 

 

The happiness in serving ourselves is real but often fleeting; the fulfillment in serving others is lasting. The problem comes when there’s a lack of balance between the pursuit of happiness and the pursuit of fulfillment. That’s not just philosophy; it’s biology. — Simon Sinek, Find Your Why 

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I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. — Dalai Lama 

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The Master has no possessions. The more he does for others, the happier he is. The more he gives, the wealthier he is. - Tao Te Ching 

 

Our deepest calling is to grow into our own authentic selfhood, whether or not it conforms to some image of who we ought to be. As we do so, we will not only find the joy that every human being seeks—we will also find our path of authentic service in the world. True vocation joins self and service, as Frederick Buechner asserts when he defines vocation as ‘the place where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.’ — Parker Palmer, Let Your Life Speak 

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As much as our minds/egos would like to be solely responsible for happiness, we eventually realize that they will only take us so far. 

The work we must do next is less cerebral and more spiritual. It’s work located in the heart and in the soul, and not in the mind. Because it is our soul that is the key to our happiness (or our unhappiness), contentment (or discontent), moderation (or gluttony), and stillness (or perturbation). — Ryan Holiday 

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Paradoxically, we have to let our mind/ego go. Not only will happiness naturally flow through you, you will move beyond happiness to holistic well-being, deep fulfillment, transcendence, and joy. Now, what, then, will be happiness? And happiness, of course, is such a vague word, so let’s say well-being. And so, I think the best definition, according to the Buddhist view, is that well-being is not just a mere pleasurable sensation. It is a deep sense of serenity and fulfillment. A state that actually pervades and underlies all emotional states, and all the joys and sorrows that can come one’s way. — Matthieu Ricard 

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Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude. — Denis Waitley

 

You have everything you need for happiness, right now ... Happiness is realizing the world around us, no matter where we are, is a miracle, is beautiful and filled with sources of joy. Do you have eyes? Then you have the tools to enjoy the sky, the water, greenery, people — all miracles, all wonderful. Do you have ears? You have the tools to enjoy music, and laughter, and conversation. Do you have taste buds? You are blessed with a symphony of wonders ... These are the tools for happiness. Use them, and realize you are blessed beyond belief. — Leo Babauta 

 

#8 Presence - Happiness is the way—it’s the path in the present moment 

 

Happiness is a default state. It’s what’s there when you remove the sense that something is missing from your life. — Naval Ravikant 

When you go through life with preferences but don’t let your happiness depend on any one of them, then you’re awake. You’re moving toward wakefulness. Wakefulness, happiness—call it what you wish—is the state of nondelusion, where you see things not as you are but as they are, insofar as this is possible for a human being. — Anthony de Mello 

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You don’t have to do anything to acquire happiness. The great Meister Eckhart said very beautifully, ‘God is not attained by a process of addition to anything in the soul, but by a process of subtraction.’ You don’t do anything to be free, you drop something. Then you’re free. — Anthony de Mello 

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One of many paradoxes is that happiness is not something you’ll find by seeking it: 

 

Don’t seek happiness. If you seek it, you won’t find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness. Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is rather than making up stories about it. Unhappiness covers up your natural state of wellbeing and inner peace, the source of true happiness. — Eckhart Tolle 

 

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life. — Albert Camus 

 

We begin a never-ending search for a satisfying experience of identity. We look beyond ourselves for the next thing that will make us happy ... But the search is both endless and hopeless, because it is continually directed away from the ‘self’ that is doing the searching. — Duane Elgin 

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Happiness is the way—it’s the path in the present moment: 

 

There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. — Thich Nhat Hanh 

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There is no path to happiness: happiness is the path. — Siddhārtha Gautama 

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You become happy by contact with reality. That’s what brings happiness, a moment-by-moment contact with reality. That’s where you’ll find God; that’s where you’ll find happiness. — Anthony de Mello 

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When you are Present, when your attention is fully in the Now, that Presence will flow into and transform what you do. There will be quality and power in it. You are present when what you are doing is not primarily a means to an end (money, prestige, winning) but fulfilling in itself, when there is joy and aliveness in what you do. And, of course, you cannot be present unless you become friendly with the present moment. — Eckhart Tolle 

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I don’t live in either my past or my future. I’m interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you’ll be a happy man ... Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we’re living right now. — Paulo Coelho 

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If there is a state where the soul can find a resting-place secure enough to establish itself and concentrate its entire being there, with no need to remember the past or reach into the future, where time is nothing to it, where the present runs on indefinitely but this duration goes unnoticed, with no sign of the passing of time, and no other feeling of deprivation or enjoyment, pleasure or pain, desire or fear than the simple feeling of existence, a feeling that fills our soul entirely, as long as this state lasts, we can call ourselves happy, not with a poor, incomplete and relative happiness such as we find in the pleasures of life, but with a sufficient, complete and perfect happiness which leaves no emptiness to be filled in the soul. — Jean-Jacques Rousseau 

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Peace is happiness at rest, and happiness is peace in motion. You can convert peace to happiness any time you want, but peace is want you want most of the time ... If you’re a peaceful person, anything you do will be a happy activity. — Naval Ravikant 

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It’s all but impossible to find a philosophical school or religion that does not venerate this inner peace—this stillness—as the highest good and as the key to elite performance and a happy life. And when basically all the wisdom of the ancient world agrees on something, only a fool would decline to listen. — Ryan Holiday 

 

#10 Surrender- Happiness is letting go of desires and accepting life as it is  - We’ve covered expectations, but how about desire? 

 

Desire to me is a contract that you make with yourself to be unhappy until you get what you want. — Naval Ravikant

 

Happiness is simply the absence of desire. When you observe a cue, but do not desire to change your state, you are content with the current situation. Happiness is not about the achievement of pleasure ... but about the lack of desire. It arrives when you have no urge to feel differently. Happiness is the state you enter when you no longer want to change your state. However, happiness is fleeting because a new desire always comes along. As Caed Budris says, ‘Happiness is the space between one desire being fulfilled and a new desire forming.’ Likewise, suffering is the space between craving a change in state and getting it. — James Clear 

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Nothing can satisfy the ego for long. As long as it runs your life, there are two ways of being unhappy. Not getting what you want is one. Getting what you want is the other. — Eckhart Tolle 

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To be calm becomes a kind of revolutionary act. To be happy with your own non-upgraded existence. — Matt Haig 

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You are able to accept life as it is once you let go and practice non-resistance, non- judgment and non-attachment:

 

Don’t seek that all that comes about should come about as you wish, but wish that everything that comes about should come about just as it does, and then you’ll have a calm and happy life. — Epictetus, Enchiridion 

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Happiness is a function of accepting what is. — Werner Erhard
 

Only if you resist what happens are you at the mercy of what happens, 

and the world will determine your happiness and unhappiness. — Eckhart Tolle

 

Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest. — Sri Chinmoy
 

On the whole, the happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except that they are so. — William R. Inge 

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We need to start by understanding that true happiness is not reflected in the modern world’s view of it being fun, elation or laughter. Happiness is finding peace and being OK with life exactly as it is. — Mo Gawdat 

 

If you want permanent peace, permanent joy, and permanent happiness, you have to get through to the other side of the inner turmoil. You can experience a life in which waves of love can rush up inside of you any time you want. It is the nature of your being. You simply have to go to the other side of the psyche. You do that by letting go of the tendency to cling. You do it by not using your mind to build false solidity. You just decide, once and for all, to take the journey by constantly letting go. — Michael Singer 

 

Happiness is in the extraordinarily ordinary: 

There are many more ordinary hours in life than extraordinary ones. We wait in line at the supermarket. We spend hours commuting to work. We water our plants and feed our pets. Happiness means finding a moment of joy in those ordinary hours. — Haemin Sunim 

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The true secret of happiness lies in the taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life. — William Morris 

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It’s the moments that I stopped just to be, rather than do, that have given me true happiness. — Richard Branson 

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Many poets and sages throughout the ages have observed that true happiness – I call it the joy of Being – is found in simple, seemingly unremarkable things. Most people, in their restless search for something significant to happen to them, continuously miss the insignificant, which may not be insignificant at all. The philosopher Nietzsche, in a rare moment of deep stillness, wrote, ‘For happiness, how little suffices for happiness! ... the least thing precisely, the gentlest thing, the lightest thing, a lizard’s rustling, a breath, a wisk, an eye glance – little maketh up the best happiness. Be still.’ — Eckhart Tolle 

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#11 Trancendence - Happiness is transcending your self . What happens when life is no longer all about you? 

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‘The self-transcendence of human existence’ ... being human always points, and is directed, to something, or someone, other than oneself—be it a meaning to fulfill or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself—by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love—the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself ... self-actualization is possible only as a side-effect of self-transcendence. — Viktor Frankl 

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